How to maintain an Attitude of Gratitude during difficult times – Sooz Melissa
We’ve all been through something difficult or challenging, right?
This doesn’t mean we’ve all experienced the same thing or things but we’ve all experienced our own personal challenges or hard times. That’s what makes the good times feel so good.
I once learned that monks stay in their neutral zone regarding emotions. They don’t feel extreme emotions on either end. I get it. Neutral. Safe. Calm. #MonkLife
Comparatively speaking, I’m a bit like a wild animal and feel emotions to their extreme (insert proud smile here).
Seriously though, when I feel, which is like every day, I FEEL!! And I really love it. I appreciate it for so many reasons.
It allows me to connect on a deeper level with myself and the people around me. It allows me to be a better human. These experiences are all opportunities for me to grow.
Another recent lesson is that I really don’t like feeling the sad, the anger, the anx (my short version of anxiousness). Some people do. A lot of people thrive in chaos. I am not one of those people.
I’ve had to learn through challenges how to switch up my mindset, my attitude and create a sense of gratitude for myself.
Here is a recent example and how I brought back my attitude of gratitude.
My grandparents are holocaust survivors and this extreme rise in antisemitism has thrown me for a wild unexpected ride. I have questioned common humanity, I have felt angry, sad, and so scared. I was wondering why more people weren’t as angry as I was. I was confused how people could go on without recognizing what was happening. I was so mad at the world.
I knew if I continued on this path, I wouldn’t be able to function at all. It was consuming my thoughts, my actions, and my reactions.
So, here’s how I’ve brought back my attitude of gratitude through the unimaginable:
- Look around, babygirl!
- This is like a full stop drop and roll situation. I stopped and I looked around. I took time to focus on nothing but what was right in front of me. I needed me and I needed time more than anything else. I gave myself that. I had to really chill, slow time, meditate, clear my mind of everything. I stared at trees. I connected with nature. #StopDropAndMeditate
2. What Can I Control?
Spheres of control… have you heard of it? There is only so much you can control. It’s important to acknowledge and be aware of what you have NO control of, some control, and full control of. When we focus on what we have control over, we are automatically grounding ourselves in reality. It’s like a reminder of “YOU ARE HERE” rather than allowing our thoughts to take us “there”, where we have no control. The next time you find yourself feeling stressed, overwhelmed, or anxious, ask yourself, what do I have 100% control over?
If you know me, you know I do not watch the news LOL. I hate the news. Yes, I am one of those :p This felt SO different.
On one hand, I felt it was important for my safety to be in the know of where the world was heading. On the other hand, I’m not in immediate control of where the world is heading. I had to regulate how much and when I was consuming news and updates.
3. So much GO0O0O0OD!
- This is a two-part shenanigan.
- Part 1 was sitting alone. I needed to be alone to face and understand what I was feeling. I needed to see what was mine that I was feeling and what was everyone else’s that I was taking on. I needed silence from the noise of life and I needed to hear my thoughts. There is so much to be thankful for. At the simplest level, if you’re reading this blog – you have time, you have safety, you have fresh air, you have clean water, you are loved (I love you!).
- Part 2. There’s a lot of good everywhere. To see it, and to feel it, sometimes you have to initiate it. So, I did what I love to do and I shared so much love everywhere I went. I smiled so fucking hard at every person that laid eyes on me at the grocery store. I hug everyone so hard at E5. I told everyone how much I loved them!! It was part selfless and part selfish. I needed to share love so I could feel the love in return. It’s a win win and love always wins!
4. Emotions = Energy
There have been so many times recently that I’ve just needed to cry it out. Let that shit go. Let the tears flow. I surprised myself, actually. There would be times I’d be sitting at the studio and just needed to allow a quick tear to drop. It flowed out and then I felt so much better. It was a good reminder to me that emotions are simply energy. When we keep the energy flowing, we can feel great. When the energy gets stuck, we can feel a lot of the not great stuff. Let it flow to let it go!
5. I accept the love and support
It’s around us. It’s always around us. There are good people in the world. SO SO SO many good people. Shit, if you’ve come this far in this blog, you’re full of love and support! Accepting love and support from others can be scary for many people. It means stripping yourself of ego and fears; fear of judgement, fear of not being loved or accepted. Just know you are loved and you are accepted, especially at E5. Let go of your fears and always say yes to a hug.
So, I remind you. It is possible.
It is possible to shift your mindset and change your perspective to change the way you feel.
Changing the way you feel automatically changes your outcomes.
While the world is still quite terrifying for many reasons, it’s not the center of my focus. I force myself to see the good, I surround myself with all of the love.
